


Blitz

by wxandwaves



Series: Cassandra Shepard: Vanguard of Destruction [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Gen, No beta we die like Jenkins in ME1, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Spacer (Mass Effect), Vanguard (Mass Effect), War Hero (Mass Effect), Will add more tags as I think of them and as recommended, ben wyatt meme: it's about the trauma, skyllian blitz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:41:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28757502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wxandwaves/pseuds/wxandwaves
Summary: In 2176, Cassandra Shepard has had a rough few years since leaving the academy. She's worked as hard as she could to reach lieutenant at only 22 and now, her boyfriend has broken up with her. So when her friends from the academy reached out and suggested they go on shore leave together, she jumped at the chance. After all, Elysium was supposed to be an 'alpine paradise', heralded as the preeminent vacation destination in Alliance space. Besides, she's never been skiing before and it was always fun to try new things. After all, shore leave was for relaxing and taking it easy. Little did she know how this shore leave would change her life forever.
Relationships: Jeff "Joker" Moreau & Female Shepard, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Series: Cassandra Shepard: Vanguard of Destruction [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2108370





	Blitz

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the conversation Shepard has with Kaidan after Virmire.

“I just wish I could see their faces when they realize that you’ve already made lieutenant. I mean, they’re probably, what, still ensigns? And here you are, already a lieutenant. You’ll probably have your own command by the end of shore leave,” teased Joker over comms.

Shepard rolled her eyes as she hopped off the shuttle on Elysium’s Alliance base and shouldered her duffle. “Maxwell, Taylor, and Lee are all going to be more concerned with skiing conditions than who has what rank, Joker. This is shore leave, remember. Work is the last thing anyone wants to think about.”

“You only say that because you outrank them all now,” scoffed Joker. “And didn’t you say that Max was _already_ trying to drag you into a ‘get drunk and cry about our ex-boyfriends’ session? That won’t end well.”

“Yes, thank you, I’ve been trying _not_ to think about the whole thing, Moreau,” said Shepard as she navigated the docking bay, weaving between off duty Alliance personnel on shore leave and the on-duty personnel forced to put up with all of them.

“I never liked that guy anyway. You’re better off,” said Joker.

“Thank you for your unending support,” said Shepard dryly.

“It’s what I’m here for. Hey, let me know if want to get payback. I won’t help or anything, but I’ll gladly cheer you on while you rip him apart with your biotics or something. Maybe drive the getaway skycar for you,” said Joker.

Shepard snorted in amusement. “Yeah, okay, I’ll let you know.”

“And say hi to the guys for me. And maybe have a mai tai for me too,” said Joker.

“Will do. Tell Hilary and your dad I say hi and enjoy Tipree,” said Shepard.

“Yes, ma’am,” teased Joker.

Shepard rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay, bye.”

After standing in line for a full hour going through security screenings, Shepard left the docking bay, heading out into the crisp afternoon sun of the Elysian capital of Illyria. When her friends from the academy had proposed taking shore leave together on Elysium, Shepard had thought it sounded like a _fantastic_ idea, even if their time was likely better spent preparing for their next assignment. She’d never been skiing before and wasn’t exactly sure that the whole thing sounded like a good idea. When Joker had backed out to go visit his family instead, she’d been less enthused, wondering if it was a sign of how bad skiing was going to go that her best friend was no longer going to be there.

Now that she was actually on Elysium, though, she understood the hype. Calling it an ‘alpine paradise’ didn’t quite do it justice. With a lush green valley nestled between picturesque snow-capped mountains and gleaming skyscrapers with a crystal-clear river weaving among it all, punctuated by cheerful parks, it seemed no wonder that the colony was plastered all over every tourism add in Alliance space. Of course, the Alliance training in her didn’t allow Shepard to merely appreciate the valley for its beauty. Instead, she noticed the Alliance turrets positioned on the tops of those mountains, the subtle walls, and guns positioned on the tops of many of those skyscrapers. The entire city was designed such that the city itself was nestled up against the tallest of the mountains, with some of the buildings even built into the side. From there, the Alliance base and its walls served as the major line of defense between the civilian areas and the rest of the valley, with a large bridge over the river connecting the base to the rest of the city. All of it, however, was designed and arranged in such a way that it all appeared rather charming in the process, and if the local residents minded how the military base blocked their view of the river birds, they did not say as much.

“Hey, Shep! Over here!”

Shepard whipped around to see young off duty officers in civilian clothes leaning against a skycar across the plaza in front of the Alliance base, all waving excitedly at her. She waved back and hurried across the concrete platform to join them, the lower gravity of the planet unsettling without armor as she moved.

A tall, lanky blond guy wearing a fluffy winter parka met Shepard with a bone crushing hug as she joined them. “There you are, Shep! Happy Shore Leave!”

Shepard laughed and patted his back as best she could. “Nice to see you too, Taylor.”

Mark Taylor, the lanky blond in question, released her and grinned broadly.

“The gang’s almost back together now! Just missing Joker and we’d have a full crew,” said the other guy, a brick wall of a man with dark hair and almond eyes, Alex Lee.

“He sends his regards from Tiptree and said to have a mai tai in his honor,” said Shepard.

“What, no mai tais on Tiptree?” said Lee.

“Well, it’s hardly the tropical paradise that Elysium is,” deadpanned Taylor.

“Stop whining. Not everywhere can be southern California,” said the fourth member of the party, a stocky girl with black curls that reached down to her shoulders, incredibly only wearing a fleece jacket even in the cold, and with killer eyeliner that Shepard had quietly always envied. Amara Maxwell hugged Shepard next, squeezing her tightly. “It’s great to see you, Shep. These two Earthbound kids are driving me nuts with their intolerance to the cold. Go on. Tell them how cold space is.”

“It’s cold,” said Shepard.

“We’ve all been on ships, Max; we know how cold space is,” said Taylor.

“Yet you’re the ones dressed for the deep freeze and we’re fine,” said Max.

“You’ve also been stationed here so you’re acclimated,” countered Lee.

Max waved it away and returned her attention to Shepard. “We’re all crashing at my place. We can head back and drop off your stuff, grab some dinner, then go check out the local night life. What do you say?”

“Works for me. You’re the boss here, Max,” said Shepard.

“Only cause we’re off duty. Didn’t you make lieutenant?” said Taylor.

“We are on _shore leave_ , Taylor! As far as I’m concerned, none of us have titles and I want to hear no discussion of work for the duration of the week,” proclaimed Max.

The other three happily agreed to this and all climbed into the skycar.

Five hours, a costume change, and far too much wine later, Shepard found herself in an excessively loud club in downtown Illyria with her friends, all seated around a high-top table mercifully far away from the dancers. Less merciful was the dress long-sleeved, short navy-blue dress Shepard was wearing and the heels she was convinced were going to give her blisters by the end of the night.

“I’m sorry, he broke up with you _why_?” gaped Max. She was wearing a gold dress with matching eyeliner that popped against her dark skin.

“Because I was already married to my work for the Alliance and had, quote, ‘the emotional breadth of a lobotomized VI’,” said Shepard.

“Well, fuck that guy,” said Taylor bluntly as he took a sip of something green.

“He just couldn’t handle that you were more successful than him. You can do better, Shep,” said Max.

“It’s true. He’s a moron. You not wanting to drop everything and turn down good assignments to be with him all the time is a reflection of how selfish he is, not of how good of a girlfriend you are,” agreed Lee.

“What’s weird is I’m not even that upset about the actual break up, it’s just his reasoning that annoys me. I could care less if I never speak to him again but am I really that cold?” said Shepard.

“No, you’re not. He’s just an asshole,” said Lee.

“Shep, look at me,” said Max. “You are a strong, independent woman who does not need that kind of negativity in her life. I mean, look at you. You’re gorgeous, you’re already a _lieutenant_ , you have badass biotics, and you’re smart. Find someone who thinks your dancing is good and you’re good to go. Anyone would be stupid not to see what a catch you are, and clearly this moron was just too intimidated by your amazingness to appreciate you.”

“Well, thank you. Honestly, I’m kind of over the whole dating thing anyway. If I ever bother dating anyone again and mind you that’s a big ‘if’ since it’s kind of a pain to deal with while deployed anyway, I will literally only date someone who is my best friend because I can’t stand the pettiness,” said Shepard.

“That’s why I don’t date; too easy to get into a mess with frat regs,” said Taylor.

“And because you hate going on dates,” said Lee.

“It’s so awkward! I hate it. The excuse to go to a fancy restaurant is not worth it,” said Taylor.

“Well, I think you’re all onto something, because it all kind of sucks. I mean, yes, it’s been three months since _my_ asshole ex cheated on me and I dumped him, but you know what? I am way better off without him. He is the scum of the galaxy, and I refuse to let that creep keep me down. I am going places, damn it, and that baggage isn’t going to weigh me down,” declared Max.

“Cheers to that,” said Taylor as he raised another glass.

“To friends,” said Shepard.

“Damn straight!” agreed Lee.

“I’ve missed you losers,” said Max fondly. “Now let’s dance!”

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no,” said Shepard as her friends pulled her out of her chair.

“Who cares how badly you dance? Everyone else here is too drunk to notice anyway,” said Max. “Relax and have fun for once!”

Shepard rolled her eyes but allowed her friends to drag her onto the dance floor, nonetheless. This was shore leave after all, and if ever there was a time to relax and let loose, this was it. That’s what shore leave was for, after all.

\---

“I have never been so hungover in my life,” groaned Taylor. He was face down on the couch in Max’s living room, still in his clothes from the previous night.

“That’s what you get from mixing _ryncol_ with batarian shard wine,” said Lee. He sat at the kitchen table sipping his coffee. Unlike some people, he knew how to pace himself.

Taylor groaned.

“Shep, hurry up with breakfast. I’m wasting away over here,” said Max. She too appeared none the worse for wear. She wore green eyeliner to match her sweater and sat across from Lee at the kitchen table drinking herbal tea, content to let Shepard work her magic in the kitchen. No one made French toast quite like Shepard. It was a talent.

“This is different from my kitchen on Arcturus. There’s a learning curve, okay?” said Shepard.

“Excuse you, _our_ kitchen,” interjected Taylor, though this was largely muffled by the pillow.

“Right yes, sorry, our kitchen. The kitchen. Different stove,” said Shepard.

“I don’t know how you guys manage to survive as roommates. I think I’d kill you both inside of a week, no offense,” said Lee.

“Can’t kill each other if your schedules barely overlap,” said Shepard. “Besides, I’m neat and I do my dishes.”

“As long as you don’t care about the model ships, she’s not half bad. Had to convince her to stop with the takeout, though,” said Taylor as he reluctantly sat up on the couch and accepted a bottle of electrolyte infused juice from Max. “Had to introduce her to the concept of cooking.”

“I grew up on ships, okay? There’s a mess sergeant,” said Shepard.

“And I maintain that that crap is bad for morale. My grandmother did not spend years of my childhood teaching me to cook only for me to let my dear roomie eat _cafeteria food_. And now look at you, using spices and everything,” said Taylor.

“Yes, and I am very grateful for your grandmother,” said Shepard.

“As are we if you’d _hurry up_ ,” said Max.

“Seriously. I think this whole apartment smells like bacon at this point and I’m _drooling_ ,” said Lee.

“And you’re welcome for getting the good stuff, by the way. None of that synthesized garbage or varren,” said Max.

“For which we thank you,” said Taylor.

“Even got _real_ prosciutto for Granny Taylor’s _real_ beef wellington later,” said Max.

“Praise be,” said Taylor. “It’s worth the hours in the kitchen, I swear. Though I warn both of you in advance that I like to be in charge in the kitchen and will accept no assistance or input.”

“Understatement,” muttered Shepard.

“As if you’re any better, _lieutenant_ ,” said Taylor.

Shepard made a face at him then returned to her cooking. A few moments later, as she was shoveling breakfast potatoes onto a plate, she said, “Good news, the food is ready, guys.”

She carried over the plates of food and Max and Lee immediately pounced on them. Taylor shuffled over from the couch and plopped down in his chair.

Max made a sound somewhere between a moan and a groan as she downed her first bite. “Shep, you are a domestic goddess. Your cooking was worth the price tag, let me tell you. Is there anything you’re bad at?”

“Dancing,” said Lee and Taylor in unison.

Shepard rolled her eyes and suppressed a smile as Max joined in their laughter. She’d missed these guys.

Their plans for the day were fairly mundane. The weather forecast said that the next day would be better for skiing, so instead they were planning to check out the art museums and an aerospace museum with much to Shepard’s delight, a gift shop that apparently had model ships from various fleets around the galaxy.

It was unseasonably warm on Elysium for that time of year when they left Max’s apartment building and headed into the city proper. It was a beautiful, sunny day and the sun gleamed on the skycrapers as colonists went about their days, running errands and enjoying the good weather, lounging in the parks, going for a walk by the river, and breathing in the crisp mountain air.

They were just leaving the Elysium Museum of Fine Art on their way to lunch at a local café when the cloudless sky was suddenly filled with ships.

A lot happened at once.

The Alliance turrets on buildings and the mountains began shooting at the invading ships. Sirens began blaring throughout the city, echoing off buildings and the mountains alike. Civilians were screaming and panicking, running for cover and trampling over each other to get to safety. All off duty Alliance personnel were recalled for active duty, their omni-tools pinging with identical messages from the acting commander of the Alliance base, a Rear-Admiral Callahan. Ships were scrambled from the Alliance base and Shepard and her friends watched as a frigate with _Agincourt_ painted on the side flew almost directly overhead and engaged the airborne ships while others of the invading ships sent shuttles or landed on the other side of the Alliance defenses and in parks. Pirates and mercenaries began flooding the streets, attacking anyone and everything on sight. Alliance shuttles scrambled and began shooting the invaders from the sky.

The Museum of Fine Art was not particularly _close_ to the Alliance base where they’d all been instructed to report, and skycars weren’t exactly an option given the chaos. Unarmed and on foot, their only choice was to make a run for it and hope for the best, reporting to the nearest commanding officer.

Some were handling it better than others.

Taylor hadn’t stopped swearing. Max was deathly quiet. Lee was too focused on scanning their surroundings for threats to panic. Shepard had taken command of her little band of irregulars and was determined to get her friends to that Alliance base in one piece, or at the very least to report to a senior officer in one piece. She was the only biotic among them, and so while she wasn’t strictly _unarmed_ , she didn’t particularly like their chances as regular combatants.

“This is madness. Elysium isn’t built to withstand this kind of assault,” said Max as the four of them hid in an ally to avoid a passing pirate band.

“We’re not far from Arcturus and we’re close to several relays. The Alliance will send reinforcements,” said Lee.

“And how many thousands are going to die until they get here? They’re in the city. They’re in the sky. How long can the _base_ hold out?” said Taylor.

Shepard ignored them and navigated through her omni-tool, patching them all into Alliance channels. She wasn’t what anyone could describe as ‘tech-savvy’, but she was good enough to at least do _that_. Once patched in, she pulled up a map of the city and mentally plotted a course through the city that promised the lowest chances of her team getting killed.

“Okay, here’s the plan. Commander Ellison is seven blocks away coordinating ground teams in this area. If we can get to his position, we can likely get more information about the situation. Until then, we need to avoid drawing attention to ourselves, but I can provide emergency cover if need be. If I can take out a few of these pirates, we can take their weapons and at least arm ourselves,” said Shepard.

What was clear to the other three was that Shepard was in full command-mode and was almost eerily calm under pressure, which was good enough for them at the moment.

The group of pirates moved past their ally and Shepard saw her opportunity. Before she could overthink it, she tossed a singularity between them, catching them all in its field. The pirates dropped their weapons in a panic and had little time to react before Shepard shot a warp field at the singularity, causing a biotic reaction that sent the pirates slamming into the nearest building. Max and Lee were the first to react, seizing the opportunity to run forward and grab all the weapons they could find. They returned to the other two with two pistols, a shotgun, and two assault rifles. After a quick debate, Max took the shotgun and a pistol, Shepard got a pistol, and both Lee and Taylor got assault rifles.

Now at least somewhat armed, Shepard motioned for her team to follow and headed back out onto the street. Skycars and shuttles from both sides were abandoned or on fire in the streets, dead bodies of both civilians and pirates lay strewn about, and debris from destroyed ships was falling like fiery rain from the sky down below. It seemed like the end times, and every block or so the four of them had to duck behind a skycar or into an ally just to avoid being shot. Now armed, however, they were able to return fire, and even well-armed pirates rarely suspected to be met with a volley of gunfire and biotics. With every successful pirate taken down, the party grabbed their ammo and weapons, trying to increase their chances of making it to the Alliance checkpoint.

The attack had seemingly only begun and already the Alliance forces on the ground were being taxed to capacity. All Alliance movements outside of the base were being coordinated from their main position at the park just beyond the bridge leading to the Alliance base. Pseudo blockades had been quickly erected at various points on the bridge to stop the pirates and mercenaries from getting through, but it was clearly a losing battle. The forces at the bridge were hitting the invaders with everything they had, but the invaders were still gaining ground.

When Shepard and her friends arrived, all movements were seemingly being coordinated by a few officers in uniform positioned behind a barricade made of stacked crates and a skycar full of bullet holes. Shepard and her friends hurried over to the pseudo-commander center and reported in.

“Lieutenant Shepard, Jr. Lieutenant Lee, and Ensigns Taylor and Maxwell, Alliance Navy, reporting for duty, sir,” announced Shepard.

“Lt. Commander Hatfield. Glad to have you,” said the woman in charge.

“I thought Commander Ellison was here,” said Lee.

“Commander Ellison is dead, and Captain McHenry is dealing with the insurgents within the city,” said the Lt. Commander. “We’re not outfitted for this sort of attack. Most of our ground forces were called in from shore leave like you. L-T, if we lose this bridge, we lose Elysium.”

“What about biotics?” asked Shepard.

The Lt. Commander looked at her like she had six heads. “What _about_ them? Even if we had biotics, which we _don’t_ , I fail to see what a bunch of biotic freaks are going to do about _this_.”

“Barriers and shields that will keep our forces alive long enough for reinforcements to get here. What about civilians?” asked Shepard, ignoring the comment.

“We don’t have enough personnel to evacuate them. By all means, if you want to give them a gun and have them point it at the pirates, be my guest,” said the Lt. Commander. “Now report to the front lines, all of you. You’re wasting my time.”

Having been dismissed, Shepard and her friends rushed to the wall bordering the bridge with the rest of the soldiers and took up position there.

“This is crazy. There are barely any of us here,” said Max as she picked off a pirate.

“No kidding!” exclaimed Taylor.

There was an explosion behind them as the pseudo-commander center was destroyed by a passing pirate shuttle, taking out most of the remaining Alliance officers.

“Shep, I think you just became CO,” said Lee.

This was, to put it mildly, not how Shepard had expected her day to go. Rather than dwell on any of it, however, she began issuing orders. Pick off stragglers and funnel the enemy towards the bridge and concentrate fire there. Anyone with biotics needed to provide cover and barrier support. Short-ranged fighters needed recruit able-bodied civilians nearby.

The plan was working. There had been more biotics among them than Shepard had expected, and they were able to keep the Alliance personnel and new colonial recruits alive form incoming attack. And yet, they were still losing too many people and the enemy was still gaining ground. The addition of another wave of colonial recruits seemed to bolster their numbers for a while, but an Alliance shuttle almost immediately took away the advantage, crashing into the resistance’s right flank and taking out over a dozen soldiers in the process.

Taylor moved to administer medi-gel to a nearby soldier and got shot in the back of the head for his trouble, dead before he hit the ground.

One of the pirates found a rocket launcher. Shepard erected a biotic field around as many of her troops as she could to keep them alive through the onslaught.

 _“McHenry to bridge team. Who is in command there?”_ asked a voice over comms.

“Lieutenant Shepard, sir,” said Shepard. She yelled at the left flank to maintain position and biotically threw heat sinks in their direction. They couldn’t afford to lose that position.

_“Lieutenant, what is your status?”_ asked the Captain. He sounded strained.

“Holding, but barely,” said Shepard.

Lee was down. A bullet to the shoulder that another to the throat finished.

_“Alliance reinforcements are on the way. Hold that position, lieutenant. If we lose that bridge, we lose the colony_ ,” said the captain.

Shepard gritted her teeth as a bullet grazed her cheek. “Understood, sir.”

An Alliance fighter flew overhead in pursue of a pirate. The pirate ship took out one of the barricades on the bridge. More soldiers arrived and filled in what was left of the right flank. Focus fire on the bridge. No one gets through. We have to hold.

Max moved to cover the left flank. She never made it.

The first bridge barricade broke. The pirates were advancing.

Shepard created a biotic field around her end of the bridge and what soldiers she could reach. They needed to hold that position. Gunfire pounded against the field as soldiers fell around her. She would not lose this position. Blood ran down her face, from her wound and a bloody nose. She would not lose this bridge.

_“Lieutenant Shepard, reinforcements are on the way. Hold that position.”_

The mercenaries were on the bridge, concentrating fire on her biotic field. Almost all of her soldiers were down. Her wounds and muscles all cried out in agony. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold the biotic field.

An Alliance frigate flew overhead and took out the swarm of pirates on the other end of the bridge. Two more fighters flew by and took out the rest. Three shuttles landed behind them and fresh Alliance troops poured out, picking off the remaining pirates. Shepard dropped her biotic field as an Alliance officer approached her position. She didn’t catch his name before passing out.

\---

Shepard cracked her eyes open to see the sterile white ceiling of a medical ward. Her head throbbed and all of her joints ached. It took a few moments for it all to come flooding back. The gunfire, explosions, blood, screaming, and fear. Taylor getting shot in the back of the head, his skull exploding. Lee taking two bullets, his blood splattering all over the people around him and pooling on the pavement. Max getting gunned down as she ran to cover across the bridge, getting off one last shot before collapsing.

No amount of training in the academy or peacekeeping missions had prepared Shepard for that. She wasn’t sure anything could have prepared her for that. How many people had died? She was the commanding officer. It was her job to keep everyone alive. Their deaths were her fault. All her fault. She should have done more. She should have been stronger. Maybe then her friends and all those innocents would still be alive. Why had she survived and not them? Why was she allowed to live while her friends were gone, their lives barely even begun? It wasn’t fair.

“Ah, you’re finally awake. I’ll go fetch your doctor,” said a nurse as he appeared in the doorway of the hospital room.

“Wait, hold on, where am I?” asked Shepard, surprised by the hoarseness of her own voice. Then again, she had been screaming and shouting at people for the duration of the battle. Had it been minutes? Hours?

The nurse returned to the hospital room and wore a pleasant smile. “You’re in the Arcturus Alliance Military Hospital. You were pretty banged up after Elysium, so they med-evaced you here. Your doctor can explain it better. I’ll bring her here and she can explain everything, all right? In the meantime, how would you rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10?”

Shepard stared at the nurse for a few hazy moments before replying. She was on Arcturus? Not Elysium? Were her injuries that severe? It certainly didn’t _feel_ as if she had lost a limb or the like. Or maybe it wasn’t that her injuries were severe, but that she was in trouble for what had happened? She knew that she hadn’t handled the situation well enough. Not with the amount of people she lost. Was this all just in anticipation of a court-martial? That was it, wasn’t it?

By the time the doctor made her way into Shepard’s hospital room, she had had just enough time to work herself up and convince herself that she would likely be facing a court-martial for what had happened on Elysium. That was the only reason she could think of for her getting an entire hospital room to herself on Arcturus after she had gotten her friends and innocent civilians killed. It was the only explanation.

If a court-martial awaited her patient, the doctor certainly did not show it. Instead, she fixed Shepard with a pleasant, motherly smile. “Hello there, Lieutenant. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” lied Shepard. “Maybe a little sore.”

The doctor looked through Shepard’s chart on the datapad in front of her. “I won’t sugarcoat it: it’s nothing short of a miracle that you’re still alive, Lieutenant. You were shot once in the left arm, were grazed by at least three bullets, suffered multiple broken ribs, were covered in other various cuts and bruises from a variety of sources, and overtaxed your biotics and implant resulting in mild swelling in your brain. You have been kept under sedation for a few days while we repaired your implant, reduced the swelling, and attended to your other various injuries. So, I’ll ask again: how are you feeling?”

“Sore and I have a headache,” admitted Shepard.

The doctor nodded. “That’s to be expected. As I said, most of your more superficial wounds and the bullet wound were all easily fixed through minor surgery and generous application of medi-gel, but that implant is going to take a little bit longer to heal. We’re going to remain here under observation for a few more days while we make sure that you’re back in working order. Sound good?”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Shepard. “Thanks.”

The doctor walked over to the elaborate IV setup beside Shepard’s bed and touched a few buttons on the interface. “I’m going to set you up with a PCA pump here for pain medication. If you press this button here, you will receive a dose of the medication, all right? Does are time restricted and limited, however, so don’t get any ideas.”

Shepard thanked the doctor as she handed her a button.

“I can have the nurse bring in some snacks if you’re interested and there are also a number of visitors here to see you, if you’re feeling up to it,” said the doctor.

“Sure,” allowed Shepard. She pressed the pain medication button.

The doctor nodded and left the room.

The pain meds had just kicked in and Shepard’s headache had mercifully receded when the nurse returned with a tray of crackers and ginger ale. The nurse pressed a button on Shepard’s bed to prop her up into a sitting position and then left. Two crackers and a sip of ginger ale later, an Alliance officer walked into the room in his dress blues. The bars on his shoulders indicated him to be a captain and the rigid set in his shoulders and gleam in his eyes suggested he had more than earned his rank.

Shepard instinctively saluted him and suppressed a shudder as her muscles cried out at the movement.

“At ease, Lieutenant. How are you holding up?” asked the captain.

“I’m fine, sir,” said Shepard. She was terrified that this conversation was going to end with the announcement of her court-martial.

The captain scoffed at that. “Gets shot and single-handedly holds off an invasion and she’s fine. Lieutenant, do you know why I’m here?”

“I expect it is because of what happened on Elysium, sir,” said Shepard.

“Exactly. You were never given a personal debrief, but I expect that would change little. We’ve been able to piece together what happened from vid feed, comm chatter, and the testimony of the other officers on the field that day. For the sake of being thorough, however, perhaps you would like to give your side of the story,” said the captain.

Shepard launched into her explanation, as if she were to write a report on the events of that day. She left out the emotions of the day. She did not mention the lieutenant commander’s disdain for biotics or how losing her friends had made it difficult to focus on the task at hand. She left all of it out and focused only on the facts as she remembered them. And as she spoke, her hand gripping the PCA button like a lifeline and trying not to show how much it all hurt to think about, the captain simply stood there, largely impassive, and occasionally nodding as she mentioned something.

“You’re Hannah Shepard’s little girl, right?” said the captain.

“Yes, sir,” said Shepard.

The captain nodded. “Hannah’s an old friend from back during First Contact. She’s back on base; I’ll let her know that you’re available to see visitors after I leave here.”

“Thank you, sir,” said Shepard.

The captain waved it away and took a seat on the chair beside her bed. “Shepard, I’m going to be honest with you; I can’t think of anyone capable of doing what you just pulled off on Elysium. Alliance forces were outnumbered ten to ones, you were on shore leave, and you managed to almost single-handedly save that colony. Those who survived the attack are thanking you by name. Hell, McHenry thinks we should name something on Elysium after you once we rebuild. Alliance Command agrees and they’ve decided to award you the Star of Terra. Once you’re released from this hospital, you’ll go to Vancouver Base and there will be a formal ceremony. And after that, I’m hoping you’ll come down to Rio for N-school.”

Shepard stared at him, trying to process this. It didn’t make any sense. “But that doesn’t make any sense. So many people died who were under my command. All those colonists, those soldiers, my _friends_ —”

“Shepard, if you hadn’t done what you did, that whole colony could have been lost. You’re a damned hero for what you did on Elysium and never think otherwise. And do you know why that makes you N-school material? Because there isn’t a single N7 out there who hasn’t sacrificed themselves or their team at one time or another. We’re the Alliance special forces because we understand what it takes to get the job done, no matter what,” said the captain.

Shepard shook her head. “But all those people…”

“I don’t know if they’re the first friends you’ve lost, Shepard, but I’ll tell you right now that they won’t be the last and you can’t dwell on it. Wallowing in guilt and grief won’t bring them back and it doesn’t help you. All you can do for them now is to do better the next time and to be the best damn soldier you can be to honor their memory,” said the captain.

Shepard nodded. This was all so much to process.

The captain studied her for a long moment. “So, what do you say? Think you could be N7 material?”

Shepard took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes, sir. I’ll be there.”

“Good,” said the captain as he stood to his feet. “And one more thing, before I forget. You’ve been promoted to lieutenant commander.”

Shepard was almost overwhelmed by the number of commendations she had just received. She accepted the datapad he handed her regardless. “Thank you, Captain…?”

“Anderson. I’ll be your N-school mentor. I know you’ll make me proud,” said the captain.

With that, he left the hospital room, leaving Shepard alone once more.


End file.
